Home life lessons My Spiritual Kick-in-the-Ass Saved My Life

My Spiritual Kick-in-the-Ass Saved My Life

written by Head Health Nutter July 22, 2011

Last week I shared with you a recent life event in A Spiritual Kick-in-the-Ass: Painful Yet Positive. Although I’m still working through the healing process, many beautiful things have happened over the week and I’d love to give you an update to help inspire you through tough times.

Have you ever experienced a loss that left you with such intense emotional pain that you couldn’t eat or sleep? Where it even caused a physical reaction of vomiting? That’s what happened to me last week. Funny thing, though, I think the retching had more to do with how I was choosing to respond to the loss.

For the first five days, besides bawling my eyes out, I tried to numb my pain with an addiction (like I have been for over a year now) yet I could barely finish a half a glass of wine when I became nauseous, ran to the bathroom and… blah! I believe my body was telling me that I needed to feel these emotions in order to heal!

I would never wish this experience on anyone but somehow I feel lucky to have it. It was a gift to have gone through this, to learn so much about myself and about love. I’ve discovered an inner strength I never knew I had! I have grown in character and emotionally matured so much from this pain and loss.

I feel more alive now than ever before because I am finally free of a bond that I tied to myself to, unknowingly giving myself up through this attachment. I had started to become more depressed when my expectations of this attachment failed to materialize and provide me happiness.

I was focusing on what I didn’t have rather than what I had! It was because of these self-inflicted shackles that I actually lost something quite special and precious, and that’s even besides myself (which I now realize is the most important thing in life).

I’ve gained a new perspective on life and on what I’ve lost. I’ve reprioritized my goals and deepened my relationships with others and myself. And best of all, I will never again take life and any of my blessings for granted again, and for that I am SO grateful.

And thankfully, once I let go of this attachment (although I’m still letting go more of it a little each day), it’s surprising how quickly I’ve come back to myself! I’m happy to report I’m back on the health wagon!

I’ve been journalling, exercising and eating clean once again. I am no longer reaching for addictions and obsessions to numb the pain but rather choosing healthy ways to cope with this experience and with the stresses of every day life. This is why I started this blog almost four years ago.

I believe in the healing aspects of a healthy lifestyle. I’m regaining my integrity more each day.

When I fell off the health wagon and slipped into depression, allowing this attachment to become ever increasingly important to me, I started to question my love of blogging and writing. And now that I’ve seen the light, it’s once again become a passion of mine!

I’ve transformed my loss into a growth experience, and I hope you’ll do the same. The way I see it, you can either choose to focus on your loss or focus on what you’ve gained. There’s always a bright side to every dark cloud.

That’s my heart and soul, Readers. And writing about it, sharing it, is SO freeing in itself. So, please, if you’ve gone through a loss and found happiness on the other side, and you’d like to share it, I’d love to hear about it.

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8 comments

The Natural Health Doc July 23, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Wow! That’s so awesome. Such a beautiful way to describe the process we all need to go through when coping with and recovering from loss. I think the fact that you do write has helped you do the introspective study you needed to do on yourself and your connection to what you’ve lost and what that means for you in the short and long term, and do it much more quickly than the average person. I have watched several friends nearly destroy their lives and their friendships over poor processing of loss in their lives. And I am happy that you did not fall prey to the downward spiral of self-destruction that can ensue in reaction to great loss.

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Head Health Nutter July 24, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Thanks so much for your wonderful comment, NH Doc! It’s not quite over yet but at least I have this post and your comment to come back to on my `low’ days so I can keep everything in perspective. 🙂

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Emmanuel Lopez-Motivatorman July 23, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Wow, thanks for having the courage to share such honesty Steph. It takes a brave soul to reveal personal challenges and the pain that arises. You are this brave soul and I am inspired by your strength!

It sounds like you are drinking in the silver lining of pitfalls you’ve encountered. Keep moving forward with gusto!!!!

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Head Health Nutter July 24, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Thanks, Emmanuel. It’s really friends like you who help me see the bright side to life’s challenges and stay optimistic! I LOVE YOU! 🙂

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Dee Turner August 25, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Altho’ I’m reading this post a bit late, I wanted to congratulate you Steph for getting back on that health wagon. Good for you! That kind of effort will always be rewarded. I am also thankful that you have made the decision to oontinue blogging! (also healthy) For while I have been away on a soul searching mission, complete with “self inflicted shackles” of my own, I have been saving every one of your emailed posts to read “later” ~ not even realizing how much I have been neglecting myself. The procrastinator in me has been sabotaging my plans again. (I know ~ we all have some demons) So, I have again re-set priorities and re-committed to self care, self love & self pace, nourished & by such inspired posts as yours ~ and taking full responsibility for myself & my actions, or lack thereof. And I humbly thank you for the “life lesson” (they never end do they!) With much love, laughter, hugs, hope & blessings upon you, dear friend ~xXxXx~ Namaste.

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Head Health Nutter August 25, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Dee, thank you for sharing! Yes, we’re really not alone in our journey and life lessons are never-ending. I’m so glad that my pain has even more purpose than I originally thought – if I can inspire others towards healthy selfishness, then I’m living my purpose here on earth.

Thank YOU for commenting and sharing your experience, as well as for your encouraging words. I wish you all the best on your soul searching mission and hopefully we can help each other! Lot of love and light, Steph.

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Dee Turner August 25, 2011 at 10:13 pm

I’m sure your blog is helping to enlighten and inspire many others Steph. Don’t ever doubt that. Most just don’t comment for whatever reason, but I suspect they appreciate your wisdom, authenticity, heart and soul ~ just as I do! Altho’ we’ve never met, I think of you as a kindred spirit and good friend sharing this great life adventure. ~xXx~?

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Head Health Nutter August 29, 2011 at 11:23 pm

Thanks, Dee, it’s very easy to doubt ourselves – I really appreciate your encouragement and your kind opinion! And, yes, I feel the same way you do, life is as tough as it is beautiful; it’s great to meet and share our journeys with our soul team. 🙂

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