Last week I shared with you a recent life event in A Spiritual Kick-in-the-Ass: Painful Yet Positive. Although I’m still working through the healing process, many beautiful things have happened over the week and I’d love to give you an update to help inspire you through tough times.
Have you ever experienced a loss that left you with such intense emotional pain that you couldn’t eat or sleep? Where it even caused a physical reaction of vomiting? That’s what happened to me last week. Funny thing, though, I think the retching had more to do with how I was choosing to respond to the loss.
For the first five days, besides bawling my eyes out, I tried to numb my pain with an addiction (like I have been for over a year now) yet I could barely finish a half a glass of wine when I became nauseous, ran to the bathroom and… blah! I believe my body was telling me that I needed to feel these emotions in order to heal!
I would never wish this experience on anyone but somehow I feel lucky to have it. It was a gift to have gone through this, to learn so much about myself and about love. I’ve discovered an inner strength I never knew I had! I have grown in character and emotionally matured so much from this pain and loss.
I feel more alive now than ever before because I am finally free of a bond that I tied to myself to, unknowingly giving myself up through this attachment. I had started to become more depressed when my expectations of this attachment failed to materialize and provide me happiness.
I was focusing on what I didn’t have rather than what I had! It was because of these self-inflicted shackles that I actually lost something quite special and precious, and that’s even besides myself (which I now realize is the most important thing in life).
I’ve gained a new perspective on life and on what I’ve lost. I’ve reprioritized my goals and deepened my relationships with others and myself. And best of all, I will never again take life and any of my blessings for granted again, and for that I am SO grateful.
And thankfully, once I let go of this attachment (although I’m still letting go more of it a little each day), it’s surprising how quickly I’ve come back to myself! I’m happy to report I’m back on the health wagon!
I’ve been journalling, exercising and eating clean once again. I am no longer reaching for addictions and obsessions to numb the pain but rather choosing healthy ways to cope with this experience and with the stresses of every day life. This is why I started this blog almost four years ago.
I believe in the healing aspects of a healthy lifestyle. I’m regaining my integrity more each day.
When I fell off the health wagon and slipped into depression, allowing this attachment to become ever increasingly important to me, I started to question my love of blogging and writing. And now that I’ve seen the light, it’s once again become a passion of mine!
I’ve transformed my loss into a growth experience, and I hope you’ll do the same. The way I see it, you can either choose to focus on your loss or focus on what you’ve gained. There’s always a bright side to every dark cloud.
That’s my heart and soul, Readers. And writing about it, sharing it, is SO freeing in itself. So, please, if you’ve gone through a loss and found happiness on the other side, and you’d like to share it, I’d love to hear about it.