Have you ever fallen off the wagon with any of your goals? If you’re human, you probably answered yes. Well, I’m human, too, and in today’s post I bare my soul as a fallen health nut. Hopefully you can relate to me as I share some of my current health struggles and revelations.
It didn’t happen overnight. It was a slow process so I didn’t quite fall, I slid. To give you a better idea of the story, let’s start from the beginning.
As I mention in my bio, I’ve had multiple experiences with getting healthy over the years. Mainly, it’s been a struggle. But I started Live Lighter on November 29, 2007, and was inspired to do so because earlier that year for the first time in my life it was EASY to adopt a healthy lifestyle and lose weight!
Since I had found my “healthy living groove” I was certain this was it. I had successfully stopped smoking and overindulging in alcohol, food and other addictions. I was finally living my life at a high level of performance and health. I had realized a potential in myself that was previously unknown to me. Bliss!
Then in the summer of 2008, I began experiencing challenges in both my love relationship and work. The idea of the relationship ending and the pressure I placed on myself to excel at work was too great. Unfortunately, the healthy ways I had been using to deal with my stress just wasn’t doing it for me anymore.
In response, I chose to cope by using what had worked in the past: addictions to cover up my pain. I confessed to this slip up for the first time in “How to Climb Back on the Wagon (when you’re hanging on by a finger)“. I recognize this was the beginning of the end, but I still hung on for dear life for awhile:
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- What’s the Cure for Addiction?
- What is Conscious Living?
At this point, even though I was smoking and sporadically partaking in a little too much alcohol, the other parts of my healthy lifestyle stayed intact. For the most part, I was still enjoying a fairly balanced life through regular nutrition, exercise, meditation, blogging, family and friends.
By the beginning of this year (2010), with my love relationship healed and solidified, we chose to take it to the next level. In May we purchased our first home and moved from a large apartment to a small house with lots of needed renovations that we both looked forward to doing ourselves. About the same time, I was preparing for my first ever speaking engagement at Magazine Canada’s conference!
My life was overabundant with exciting new life changes and challenges. I was handling it all pretty well but the remnants of my once healthy routine quickly dissipated as home renovations continued and my freelance writing career took off. I mentioned this disappointing turn in health events in several posts:
I am happy to report that since writing “Making Time for Self-Care” I’ve been doing my best to make healthy living a habit once again. And actually I’m doing very well considering it’s the holiday season!
And as for the positive side to falling off the health wagon, not only do I have full breasts again (I lost them when I had more lean muscle mass than fat), but I had forgotten what it was like to struggle with adopting a healthy routine and all the emotional/social issues that accompany weight gain.
What am I planning to do about all this?
First of all, I forgive myself. I am human and subject to weakness. It’s so easy to handle our stress with destructive means! And rather than look at the above as excuses, I see them as reasons.
However, that said, I also choose to accept responsibility for my actions and decisions over the last two years, all of which have brought me to this current point in time. I also see that the destructive means of handling my stress is a short-term relief and they are not helping me in the long run.
I remember what it was like to live a healthier life: abundant energy, positive moods, clarity, self-confidence, comfortable fitting clothes… I want that once again! And so with 2011 right around the corner, I plan on creating another health plan.
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post where I’ll share that health plan with you. Have you fallen off the health wagon? If so, I’d love to hear about it!