Have you ever had someone you love let you down or another who failed to fulfill their end of a deal? Maybe you’ve had complete strangers wrong you by letting a door close in your face or by cutting you off on the highway? Would you believe these are gifts?!
Last week I shared with you that I was starting Debbie Ford’s 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse on Opera.com. Yesterday I finished Day 4: The Gift of Forgiveness.
(It’s an incredible program and only takes 10-15 minutes every day!)
I consider myself a very forgiving person; even thinking on occasion that I let people off the hook too easily.
But after yesterday’s cleansing ritual and meditation, I realized that I was harboring some pretty toxic feelings – and towards people that I absolutely love!
Ms. Ford revealed:
Releasing the invisible ties to those who have left you, betrayed you, disappointed you or hurt you, you open up to higher realms of love, peace and joy. Without forgiving them and cutting the cords of resentment, you continue to be imprisoned by the very people you’ve spent years (or a lifetime) trying to get away from and you are bound to the incidents that caused the resentment in the first place. And because the outer world is a steadfast reflection of your inner world, these resentment and grudges ensure that you re-create situations that spark the same bad feelings you want to escape from. Resentments and grudges are two of the main culprits that perpetuate cycles of self-abuse and victimhood.
What I realized from yesterday’s consciousness cleanse was that when people piss us off, they are actually presenting us a gift – if we choose to accept it.
I can hear you now, “Have you lost your freakin’ mind, Steph? These people are disrespecting us, walking all over us and damn it, we deserve better!”
No, I haven’t lost my mind and yes, we deserve to be treated better. However, people don’t intentionally set out to hurt others (maybe some do but it’s a small percentage); they’re just wrapped up in their own world. They’re dealing with their own issues or simply trying to cope with life the only way they know how.
So what’s this gift we’re talking about?
When someone does or says something that disappoints, angers or hurts us, they are triggering a very old, internal wound within us from childhood. These are our personal issues that we haven’t yet bothered to heal.
Now before you balk at this, saying that you had the perfect childhood, please keep in mind that perfect parenting is impossible! Childhood development is so rapid that no parent has the capacity or resources to fulfill every need a child experiences. Plus, we’re extremely sensitive as children. We get hurt very easily.
Time to get REAL personal
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